It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
