I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
