you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
