Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize