also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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