I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
