I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My ass is underappreciated
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
