After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
