I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
