I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
