he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
