he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she told me i tasted like america
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
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