Soap is not a condiment
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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