What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
BRING THE BAGELS
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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