i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
