i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
