Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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