Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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