he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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