OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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