If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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