Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
