im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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