5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
