Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
