I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
