kristin has been a bad kristin
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
