I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
