Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
