I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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