It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
