hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
