What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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