So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
