you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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