Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
