Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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