I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
