she was so not down for the gang bang
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
