Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
