rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
