And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
