Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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