so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
