Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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