In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
