So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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