Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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