oh god the rape fog is back!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
