you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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